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17: “Isn’t it romantic?”
This is how Cassie remembers him: lying on his back, one arm languidly stretched beneath his neck, staring up at the stars.
“For all we know, that star doesn’t exist anymore,” Luca says. “Seeing a supernova from Earth could mean 80 years have passed since the star disappeared.” He turns to her, brown eyes shining. “Isn’t space romantic?”
Years later, Cassie will linger in this moment. She imagines reaching out to cup his face, pulling him close until the only world that matters is the one they’ve created together.
Instead, she turns away and scoffs at his naivety, thinking of her father, whose first mission took his leg, his dreams and her mother’s affections.
The following year, during its exploratory maiden voyage, the United Fleet encounters the Reeshi for the first time. Three vaporized spaceships later, 26 countries jointly declare war. Soon after, Luca is drafted and gone, leaving behind only a letter and a promise.
*****
L,
They say you’re going to a temporary station first, and it’ll be a few months before my messages reach you. Applied time dilation, right?
You idiot. I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll be here when you come home.
21: “You can’t wait for him forever.”
Her roommate Nina is stretched across her bed, taking a break from her mid-term papers by making her disapproval of Luca clear once again. “He’s still in his teens isn’t he, because of that space-time thing.” Special relativity, Cassie thinks. “And you hear from him, what, every few months?”
Cassie doesn’t tell her about Luca’s e-mail last week, the first to arrive in half a year.
The stars are beautiful, but the space between them is equally fascinating. The void enthrals you, draws you in until it encompasses the entirety of your world. That’s how I feel about you.
In the present, Nina sighs. “I’m just saying it’s not fair, you getting older while he stays young. I have a friend who’s wanted to ask you out for ages. One date, it doesn’t have to mean anything.”
The next day, Nina’s friend asks her to dinner. Cassie thinks of the space between stars and turns him down.
*****
L,
They say you’re shipping off to Proxima b six months ago. Be careful.
29
Nina marries an accountant who is sharp and cautious and altogether perfect for her. Cassie is her maid of honour.
Read more science fiction from Nature Futures
It’s been eight years since she last heard from Luca. She knows it’s four years to Proxima b and another four for the radio waves to reach Earth. The knowledge does nothing to soothe the empty feeling in her chest.
Sometimes she thinks of Luca in space, eternally young and chasing his dreams, and she despises him with a white-hot hatred. Only for a fraction of a second. But a fraction of a second on Earth is a lifetime at the speed of light.
At Nina’s reception, she meets Mason, a 28-year-old lawyer with a kind smile. They wander Central Park together and he slips his hand into hers between 81st and 82nd street. She feels light for the first time in years.
Back at her hotel room her phone vibrates, Luca’s name blazing crimson across her lock screen. She never sees Mason again.
*****
L,
I’ve looked it up. 82 G. Eridani is 19.72 light years from Earth. You say it’s an honour, invited along as part of the peace negotiations. I know it means it will be 40 years before I hear from you again.
As I write this, you’ll be travelling at light speed, ageing barely at all. By the time you come back I’ll be in my sixties and you’ll still be in your twenties. You say the age difference doesn’t matter and I know you believe that’s true.
You say it would be better if I forgot you. Don’t you think I know that? I’ve tried, but I can’t. I won’t try any more.
I graduated with my PhD today. Astrophysics. I spent the past six years charting the paths of stars and planets. In 40 years, I’ll chart your return home.
49: “They grow up so fast, don’t they?”
Nina has just shipped her youngest off to college, and invites Cassie over to toast her empty nest. Cassie feels out of place on the newly painted patio abutting the perfectly manicured lawn. She thinks of her own shoebox apartment selected solely for its proximity to campus.
Nina realizes half a second too late what she’s said and to whom. A horrified look flushes across her face. Cassie pats her friend’s shoulder, stilling her. She’s made her peace with her lot long ago.
The Reeshi are but a footnote in the most recent editions of students’ history textbooks. The media has shifted focus to more exciting things, the newest expeditions overshadowing the wars of the past. With peace all but guaranteed decades ago, the world has moved on. All except her.
*****
L,
You know they offered me a spot on the last voyage? I turned it down. I’m not like you, I’m perfectly happy with discovering the mysteries of the Universe from the safety of my office. Besides, the expedition would have taken me farther from Eridani, and you.
I’ve enclosed the documents you asked for, 20 years ago. I hope you’ll forgive me for taking so long, as for you it’s been only a matter of weeks.
Hurry back to me, husband.
67
There is a knock at her door. She opens it to find two sombre men in military fatigues. One of them clears his throat and steps forward. His hands clutch at a battered phone, decades outdated.
*****
L,
You were wrong. It isn’t romantic at all.
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