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Lily Collins is looking back on a dark time in her life.

The Emily in Paris star recalled the abuse she suffered in a relationship during her early 20s, sharing that it changed the way she carried herself at the time.

“My romantic, toxic relationship was a lot of verbal and emotional abuse and being made to feel very small,” she shared during the Feb. 6 episode of the We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle podcast. “I became quite silent and comfortable in silence and feeling like I had to make myself small to feel super safe.” 

Lily said her ex would use “awful words,” calling her “Little Lily” and “whore” as a way to bring her down.

Ultimately, according to the 33-year-old, her body started reacting to the relationship to a point where it made her physically ill.

“My skin was breaking out. I was having these panic attacks and I had kidney infections,” Lily explained. “All of these weird physical manifestations but I didn’t, at that time of my life, put the two and two together as your body is telling you, ‘This is not something you’re supposed to be in.'”

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