Pretty much every time we post a video game trailer on this website, it’s either because we think it’s cool, or we’re using it to illustrate some kind of gameplay or cinematic point. In this case, though, we’re doing neither.
In this case, we’re here to marvel. To wonder. To laugh, even. At Symbiogenesis, aka Square Enix’s NFT game, which got its first “proper” trailer today.
This is a major project for the company! This is partly why they offloaded Tomb Raider! So they could….make a game about…selling NFTs. That’s it. That’s what this game is about (not that you could work out anything else from that barren footage). It’s about Square Enix making 10,000 NFTs then trying to sell them in a video game as items, in The Year Of Our Lord 2023, an entire year after the ass fell out of the whole NFT scam and the only people left to care are the idiots left holding the bag, the assholes with names like LamboGuy6352349234.eth.
Wait, what’s the game actually about?
Who knows! Symbiogenesis’ website is incredibly vague, leaving information on everything from gameplay to story languishing in a brief, text-based FAQ.
When that trailer says “untangle the story”, what they mean is that (as reported by GamesHub):
Square Enix has said that all story chapters can be completed and ‘played to the end even without having any Character NFT’ but these in-game purchases will arrive with specific ‘utility for those who hold the NFT collectible art’. Players with Character NFTs will be able to read unique stories, gain rank experience points easily, create a ‘replica’ of their character, and gain additional NFT art when missions are cleared.
Some story elements will be withheld from players who do not purchase NFTs, impacting the overall gameplay experience.
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Incredible. This is the company that gave the world Final Fantasy. For context, let’s recap how we all, Square Enix included, got here. And nothing illustrates that better than this succession of headlines:
January 2, 2022 – Square Enix President Hopes NFTs, Blockchain Games Become ‘Major Trend In Gaming Going Forward’
April 18, 2022 – Square Enix President Still Insists Future Of Gaming Features Blockchain Tech
May 13, 2022 – NFT Market Collapses Just As Square Enix Sells Tomb Raider To Bet Big On Blockchain
November 3, 2022 – Hyped Mystery Square Enix Game Turns Out To Be NFT Junk
January 3, 2023 – After A Bad Year For NFTs, Square Enix Boss Says Company’s Still All In For Them
March 3, 2023 – Square Enix CEO Who Constantly Pushed NFT Games To Be Replaced
This is the funniest short story I have ever read.
