Welcome to Ask Eater, a column from Eater Philly where the site’s editor Ernest Owens answers questions from readers on all things Philly food related (hype around certain dishes, dining trends, restaurant etiquette matters, food influencer crazes, service labor problems and more). Have a question for him? Submit your question to [email protected] with the subject line “Ask Eater.”
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Dear Ask Eater,
I feel morally conflicted.
For the past four months, I’ve been trying to nab a reservation at this James Beard-nominated restaurant in Center City. Everyone’s been raving about it for the past year, but I’ve failed at every turn at getting in. The moment reservations are open online, I’m literally at the edge of my seat ready to RSVP like I’m buying concert tickets. But when I refresh my screen, the reservations are all gone. I feel like it is humanly impossible for this to occur — and a friend of mine confirmed to me that I was right.
A girlfriend of mine told me about this restaurant reservation app that charges around $100 to buy one off of someone else. I personally feel like it shouldn’t take all of this to get into a damn restaurant, but after months of trying to do this the honest way, I feel like I’m going to have to bite the bullet and fork over the money.
Should I really pay $100 to nab a seat from a restaurant reservation app?
Thanks,
Foodie in Despair
Dear Foodie in Despair,
This is really a tough one, because part of me would just take the L and nab the reservation from ridiculous (absolutely cringe) apps like Appointment Trader — but I also think that doing so would further exploit diners in gross ways. That extra $100 should go to supporting the restaurant — or staying in your pocket, not in the hands of someone who didn’t actually do anything of merit to earn it.
So here’s a potentially better way to do this: Reach out to the restaurant directly, show your “receipts,” and see what they say.
I did this a while back at a super popular restaurant in New York City (yes, the Black-owned one that everyone is trying to get a reservation at). I was up extra early and saw the reservations automatically evaporate in less than a minute. I screenshotted the exact moment it happened and emailed the restaurant right away. Fortunately, they were able to find me a reservation after recognizing my dedication to trying to eat there.
Customer service is key. If a restaurant is a victim of such bot-like reservation nabbing, they must be proactive in ensuring that their legitimate diners aren’t being exploited. But it’s also on us as diners to try every ethical measure in place before succumbing to the reservation gougers that be.
In other words: Ditch that shameful app, and pick up the phone, email, and/or pull up to the restaurant to let your voice be heard instead.
Ernest
Dear Ask Eater,
Let me put the disclaimer out there ASAP that I’m not a creep or someone who doesn’t respect people’s bodily autonomy.
So for at least three first-time dates I’ve been on this year, I’ve noticed that there are some bars that allow people to “protect” their cocktails with these odd-looking drink covers. While I get the concept, I think it kills the vibe instantly when someone gets one around me as if I’m that kind of dude.
Do you think bars that are now doing this are being too politically correct or overreacting in trying to potentially prevent something from happening that most likely won’t?
Please let me know,
Barfly Bro
Dear Barfly Bro,
So I answer this with the sincerest of intentions: Please re-read your question. There, you will find the makings of my answer.
For starters, any bar that is taking fair measures to protect their customers from the possibility of assault or any other concerning liabilities aren’t “overreacting” or being “politically correct.” Let’s get real here: There are some individuals who do go to bars and drug people or worse. Your assertion that something like this “most likely won’t” isn’t sufficient enough to justify not taking reasonable precautions.
So what is this really about? You consider yourself a decent person who isn’t a “creep” and it makes you uncomfortable to go on first-time dates at bars where the person sitting next to you is taking such precautions. If you truly respect people’s bodily autonomy, you wouldn’t take this personally, as such measures respect the individual’s boundaries rather than assuage your unnecessary discomfort.
In 2024, you shouldn’t blame the person opting for the drink cover or the bar wisely offering it, but rather the culture that’s driven by the necessity of such precautions. For what it’s worth, reconsider making a bar the first place you choose to go on dates with someone if you don’t want to introduce the additional risk of liquor into the equation.
Ernest
Dear Ask Eater,
Another year, another bar in the Gayborhood closes down. This time, it’s one that just relocated after years of being cramped in a nearby block. I hate to say it, but the Gayborhood doesn’t feel gay anymore. So many LGBTQ-owned restaurants and bars in the area are being taken over by straight people who don’t seem to give back to the LGBTQIA community in any other meaningful way, and it’s getting harder for us to find safe spaces to connect.
How should I react to all of this change (re: gentrification) happening in the Gayborhood?
Thanks,
A Queer Who Wants a Beer
Dear A Queer Who Wants a Beer,
It’s always disappointing to see an area that you consider a community evolve into something else less sacred. Observing what’s happening in both the Gayborhood and the rising concerns around a proposal of a new 76ers Arena adversely impacting Chinatown can make members of those respective communities feel helpless. As a Black queer person, I personally saw the writing on the wall with the Gayborhood a few years ago when acts of racial discrimination happening at the bars there made me feel like it was no longer a safe space.
But that being said, it’s important to consider that “community” can’t be solely defined as a geographical location, but also as where the people who belong to said community excel. I’m pleased to inform you that Philly’s diverse LGBTQIA community is thriving at bars and venues all over Philly, and the Gayborhood is no longer the only place to find us. I would implore you to explore queer events and gatherings outside of the typical spaces (such as in Fishtown, West Philly, and South Street) where we’re starting to shine our brightest.
While it’s upsetting to witness a former space of ours diminish, it’s important to note that the location – not the people – has.
Ernest
