According to a new ABC News report, Gaetz’s ex-BFF, Joel Greenberg, is singing like a sack of horny canaries, and it could be seriously bad news for our infamous Florida Man:

Former Seminole County tax collector Joel Greenberg, as part of his ongoing cooperation with prosecutors, has provided investigators with years of Venmo and Cash App transactions and thousands of photos and videos, as well as access to personal social media accounts, sources said.

Oh, well, that could be anything. Funny cat photos. Reimbursements for SeaWorld Segway tours. Surreptitious payments made in exchange for sex with young women. There are tens of possibilities. Why jump to conclusions?

ABC News has reviewed Google Voice text messages from September 2018 that appear to show Greenberg texting with a woman he met online. In the texts, Greenberg appears to discuss payment options and asks the woman, who was of legal age, if she would take drugs; he then sets up a get-together with himself, Gaetz, the woman, and one of her friends.


According to ABC News, one of the texts Greenberg sent the woman said, “I have a friend flying in and we are trying to make plans for tonight. What are your plans for later. And how much of an allowance will you be requiring :)”

Ew. Looks a bit skeevy. But don’t jump to conclusions just y—

Oh, good God, what fresh hell is this?

The woman responded by telling Greenberg she has “a friend who introduced me to the website that I could bring” and said she “usually” requires “$400 per meet.”

Okay, that looks kind of like a quid pro quo. Oopsie.

Of course, Gaetz isn’t in hot water simply for (allegedly) soliciting prostitution. He’s also in trouble for (again, allegedly) trafficking underage girls. Greenberg has already pleaded guilty to the sex trafficking of a minor and admitted to “introducing her to other ‘adult men’ who also had sex with her when she was underage.”

That’s not good. For anyone. But it’s a particularly fraught situation for Gaetz. You just need to read the tea leaves. Or Twitter.


Hope he enjoyed all those posh hotel rooms. Not sure if he’ll like the accommodations in his new digs. Personally, I’d hate to have a shared toilet in the middle of my living room. Then again, that may finally give him good reason to wear that comically large gas mask he loves so much

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