Dear We Are Teachers,
Well, I can’t believe I’m asking this, but I am. When I noticed a student’s handwriting and writing ability improved dramatically overnight, I asked the student, “Did a grown-up help you with this?” Without skipping a beat, he said, “Oh, my mom didn’t just help me. She did it for me.” When I called home to ask about it, the mom confirmed nonchalantly. After a long pause, I said that homework is intended for students to complete. She said they didn’t have time that night and that she has “the right to help my child with his homework to whatever extent I want.” Cool. Not knowing what to say, I suggested we meet in person, so we have a meeting scheduled next week. What am I supposed to do with this?
—Am I on a Different Planet?
Dear A.I.O.A.D.P.,
This is 100% an issue to notify your administrator about. Your school leader needs to know and address it since it affects other classes as well. It’s true that as teachers we have to have tough conversations from time to time. But it’s beyond our pay grade to answer “Why is it unethical and inaccurate for my child to be graded on my—an adult’s—work?” I don’t know about you, but I’m not touching that nonsense with a salary under $150K.
However, I would recommend reviewing your grading percentages. You want to have the bulk of a student’s work be things you can verify that only they did. In other words, in class, and without the use of AI. That way, even if mom does the science fair project start to finish, it’s only 3% of the grade instead of 20%.
Dear We Are Teachers,
One of my high school students (age 14) recently told me that he spends weeks at a time by himself while his parents are away. Sometimes it’s for business, sometimes it’s to visit or take care of family in another country. I feel so sorry for him. Fourteen seems too young for this to be a regular thing. Should I report this to someone at school? Try to talk to his parents? I don’t want to make things worse, but I can’t stop worrying about him.
—Failing To Mind My Own Business
Dear F.T.M.M.O.B.,
Your worry about your student is valid. A lack of supervision for weeks at a time, even for the most mature and responsible child, is potentially dangerous and emotionally neglectful. You can check the legal age that kids are allowed to stay home alone here, listed by state. But be careful how you approach this.
The first thing I would do is talk to your student again to make sure you have the story straight. Do they have nearby adults checking in on them? Do they have safety plans in place? Have their parents gone over emergency plans with them? If you rush to report this to Child Protective Services and it turns out he’s only occasionally home by himself for a night, or that he was home by himself only for an extended period of time once (instead of regularly), you could do serious family damage that is hard to repair.
No matter what the student tells you, let your next stop be the counselor’s office. The laws about child neglect vary from state to state, and you’ll want to be absolutely sure about whether or not this is a mandatory reporting moment.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m a first-year teacher teaching 4th grade, and my appraiser is really unreasonable. My students are rocking our common assessments and benchmarks, but she cracks down on me for the weirdest things. I had to practically fight her to keep my 10 minutes of sustained silent reading every day. Any time my students are playing a game or doing a fun activity, she asks me why I chose that over a more rigorous activity. And when my class spent an extra five minutes at recess, she sent an email with a tone so serious you would have thought I’d been caught handing out drugs. I don’t feel like I have the teaching chops to call her out yet. But in the meantime, what’s your advice for handling an overbearing fun-sucker?
—UGH
Dear U.,
Ugh indeed! I can understand your admin’s hypervigilance since you’re a new teacher in the building. But they usually back off once they see you’re doing OK. And it sounds like you’re doing more than OK!
I think you’re wise to wait on calling her out. My advice? Let your teaching speak for itself. As long as she’s not giving you bad evaluations, wait out the weird comments and micromanaging this year. By the end of the year, you’ll have data on whether your way works. Data that you can use to say, “Thanks for that advice. Can I show you the research supporting [x]? That’s why I make the choice to do [y], and part of what got me such great results last year.”
(Not going to lie, I am greatly enjoying imagining her face receiving this devastatingly professional, totally reasonable response from you.)
Do you have a burning question? Email us at [email protected].
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’ve been teaching for five years at the same large high school, and almost on a daily basis I get confused for a student. Despite the fact that I wear an I.D. on a lanyard every day, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked for my hall pass when I’m in the hallway, been told to leave the faculty lounge because it’s for teachers only, or had the school SRO chase me down for leaving early in my car. It was funny for the first year or so, but now it just chips away at my self-esteem. What can I do to stop being mistaken for a teenager?
—Thirty-One Going on Thirteen
