Dear Amy: “Mary” and I were acquaintances in college. We didn’t talk for years after graduating but would see each other sometimes at bars and say hello.

In 2020, she decided that she wanted to develop a friendship with me.

I quickly realized how unstable she is. She goes through cycles of sleeping with new people, posting them all over social media, the relationship ends, then she starts up with someone new.

She has also behaved unethically in her profession.

Almost every weekend now, Mary asks me to go out drinking.

I never message her first. I’ve been making up excuses because I don’t feel comfortable telling her that I find her actions problematic.

In between texts asking to hang out, she would tell me how good of a friend I am and how much she cares about me.

Amy, I would see this person once every few months.

Last weekend, I finally left her text as having been “read” but I haven’t answered. Just now, I just got a text from her telling me she misses me.

I’m scared to tell her that I don’t want to be her friend.

I don’t know how she’d react, and there’s a good chance I would see her around my small city.





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