Three miscarriages, two medically necessary abortions, multiple tests, hundreds of needles, two rounds of in vitro fertilization (IVF), five doctors, one surrogate and six figures. This is what it took to bring our beautiful daughter into the world. Would I do it again? Absolutely, in a heartbeat without a second thought. However, there are so many ways that this journey could and should have been easier for people such as me and my husband.
One in 6 couples struggle with the disease of infertility. The World Health Organization has recognized infertility as a disease for years, just like cancer, diabetes or heart disease. And yet, there is a stigma that remains. The result: We don’t talk about our infertility journeys. It’s too raw, too personal and too painful.
But we need to speak up. We need employers to understand how hard it is to go back to work the day after a miscarriage. We need our families and friends to be aware of what we are going through and to be sensitive to our plight. And, most importantly, we need lawmakers to understand how big of an issue this truly is and act on our behalf.
I support with all my heart Senate Majority Leader Nicole Cannizzaro’s (D-Las Vegas) proposed IVF protection bill. Fertility treatment needs to be affordable. It needs to be recognized by insurance companies as a covered benefit. And employers need to offer fertility benefits to care for their workforce. In Nevada, that’s not the case.
First and foremost, IVF must be protected and not politicized or vilified. Doctors should be able to care for their patients without fear of retribution. Intended parents should be able to grow their family in the way that they see fit. And not go bankrupt or have to dip into their 401(k) prematurely to have a kid.
My husband and I have successful careers. But even with two good salaries, we could not afford IVF and surrogacy on our own. My father had to sell his house and give us all of the proceeds from the sale. My in-laws had to dip into their life savings. Every dollar we made went to paying them back. We are very fortunate to have a support system with these kinds of resources. But most people cannot build their families this way. Inflation has made infertility that much more costly in recent years.
Contrary to popular belief, infertility is not just a women’s issue. It affects men just as much. There is female factor infertility, male factor infertility and many situations where both male and female factors are at play. We spend our entire adult lives trying not to get pregnant, that when we are finally ready to start a family and find out you cannot, it is unfathomable and hard to grasp. If you cannot conceive naturally or are having a hard time getting pregnant, it is not your fault. There is nothing wrong with you, you are not damaged and you are not broken. Trust me, this is the narrative in every person’s head when you go through this journey.
I have a birth defect. I was born with what is known as a bicornuate uterus where essentially one side of my uterus is deflated. While millions of women go on to have healthy pregnancies with a bicornuate uterus, mine is severe. When my doctor told me that we would have to hire a surrogate and undergo IVF, it felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. While the cost was insurmountable, at least I felt like after years of miscarriages and no answers, I finally had a diagnosis and a plan. This gave me hope. But after an Alabama Supreme Court decision that came out earlier this year attempting to take away the right to IVF, it’s clear to me that taking away the right to IVF steals that hope for so many others.
It strips couples and single people who want to become a parent of having a child that is genetically theirs. I have heard it all throughout the years. “Why don’t you just adopt?” “Why don’t you foster?” “Do you really need to be a parent to have a happy life?” These questions, while well intended, are like a dagger to the heart for someone going through infertility. None of these family building paths are easy.
The way the laws are structured today, society is essentially saying that unless you are wealthy you do not deserve a child that is genetically yours. And that is wrong.
In 2020, I founded Nevada Fertility Advocates (NFA). NFA supports the 1 in 6 couples in Nevada who struggle with the disease of infertility. We do this through community awareness, employer education and advocacy. I am honored to work with Sen. Cannizzaro as she fights for women and families and ask that all members of the Legislature join us in this fight. This is not a liberal issue. This is not a conservative issue. This is a matter of fighting for families and access to high quality, affordable health care.
I honestly don’t know what I would do without my daughter. She is the reason I fight. And all I want for her is a better tomorrow.
Amanda Klein is a health care marketing executive who has worked for some of the largest health plans and hospital systems in the nation. She is a lifelong Nevadan, the founder of Nevada Fertility Advocates, and a two-time recipient of the title of Mrs. Nevada.
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