The Broncos need to play football like they are conducting an audit or reading aloud assembly instructions for an IKEA daybed.
They need to be boring.
This is not a suggestion to tank the season. It is a road map to achieving nine victories, as unlikely as that seems.
The blandness comes with a caveat. They can only win by being boring if they are smart, tough and disciplined. Otherwise, they will simply be bad and boring, which might as well have been their bumper sticker motto the past eight seasons.
The Kansas City Chiefs play like they are racing Formula 1. Quarterback Patrick Mahomes treats third downs like he has 19 in blackjack and devilishly screams “Hit me!” The Chiefs are the class of the NFL and the AFC West. They played last season with a receiving corps that used their hands less than soccer players and won their third Super Bowl.
They can play with their hair on fire, in a perm or a crew cut. And they maintain their grip on the Vince Lombardi Trophy, a reflection of their elite players and Hall of Fame coach.
The 2024 Broncos operate with no margin for error. They are young and hungry, which is the polite way of saying no one expects them to be any good. They boast two stars – cornerback Patrick Surtain II and right guard Quinn Meinerz – and neither one touches the ball. The Broncos’ strength must come from numbers and lullabies. They need to put teams to sleep with calculated precision and execution.
There is a “Do Your Job” vibe to this training camp. Payton is running summer workouts in a way that would delight his mentor Bill Parcells and former Patriots coach Bill Belichick. They are allowed 150 minutes to practice. And they use it.
Payton is not doing this as punishment, but with a clear objective in mind. He wants mentally and physically strong players. Camp is time to create the callus. There are no hacks for these workouts. He told the players to show up Saturday like it was a game day. Everything is an aptitude test to identify the keepers and weed out the pretenders. Did I mention they run gassers at the end of every practice?
“Our schedule when you talk to guys around the league is probably the most brutal, given how many days in a row we go and how hard we practice,” tight end Adam Trautman said. “Sean has had a lot of success with it, going day in and day out.”
Payton did this with more talented teams, building a culture of accountability. Half his Saints clubs were Super Bowl contenders, sprinkled with All-Pros and future Hall of Famers. They could beat you in a number of ways.
These Broncos cannot. They need to lean on a physical ground game to ease the transition of rookie Bo Nix (Yes, I expect him to eventually be named the starter). They need to run when they want to and when they have to — and Nix audibling into the right rush for Javonte Williams and Audric Estime will play a critical role.
The most exciting play Saturday was when rookie Troy Franklin almost caught a touchdown pass. Payton admitted in a scripted game he would have called five more deep shots. But the Broncos are not there yet. They are ironing out wrinkles, folding laundry, organizing the sock drawer. Being boring. Or “being smart,” as Payton put it.
Last season’s greatest achievement was reducing the number of games missed due to injury from the most in the league in 2022 to near the fewest. This was by design with the hiring of vice president of health and performance Beau Lowery.
This season’s goal: becoming more efficient. The Broncos must win in the margins. They can’t take stupid penalties, and they can’t take sacks, a statistic Payton attaches directly to the quarterback, not the offensive line. They must create turnovers, while limiting their own. They must get first downs on punt returns and not miss field goals.
They showed you what it looked like during their five-game win streak last season. They produced 16 takeaways — with only three giveaways — and held opponents to 16 points per game. They averaged 166 yards passing on 27 attempts, while rushing 31 times for 127 yards. Privately, the Broncos believed the season’s best performance came against the Browns when all the above traits were on display.
“We are riding that same wave that we were on then,” nose tackle D.J. Jones told The Post. “And we have added an attacking defensive lineman. With that, anything is possible.”
The Broncos are not built to go four wheeling. They are meant, for the time being, to drive the sedan in I-25’s right lane. They are not eating food with their hands, making a beautiful mess. They need the knife and fork. And must make sure the utensils are placed in the order they will be used.
When small details matter, big things happen. Maybe that’s why I heard right tackle Mike McGlinchey screaming at a teammate Saturday after a missed blocking assignment.
They have to play fast. But they can only do that if they are smart. And smart only pays dividends if players are tough. Those are the sprinkles in this carton of vanilla ice cream.
Dull. Full of common sense. This is where they reside in this rebuilding project. Eventually, if this past draft class does what Payton expects in future seasons, the Broncos will be defined by their talent and excitement.
For now? Boring means winning.
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