Who doesn’t enjoy a good laugh first thing in the morning? Sharing a few giggles can be a great way to create a positive and joyful environment for your students (and you!). If you’re trying to come up with ideas, look no further. We’ve compiled this list of the cutest kindergarten jokes to start the day!
1. How do you get a tissue to dance?
You put a little boogie into it.
2. What is big, green, and plays a lot of tricks?
Prank-enstein!
3. Why did the superhero flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
4. Why did the ghost blow his nose?
Because it was full of booo-gers!
5. Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a water-melon.
6. How does the ocean say hello?
It waves.
7. What did the tree say to the wind?
Leaf me alone!
8. How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
When it’s full!
9. Why did the dog do so well in school?
Because he was the teacher’s pet!
10. Why did the egg get thrown out of class?
Because he kept telling yolks!
11. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
12. What animal can you always find at a baseball game?
A bat!
13. What can you catch, but never throw?
A cold!
14. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tube-a toothpaste.
15. Why did the banana go to the hospital?
He was peeling really bad.
16. Where does the chicken like to eat?
At a rooster-ant!
17. Where do cows go for entertainment?
The mooooo-vies!
18. What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?
A stega-snore-us.
19. What does a spider’s bride wear?
A webbing dress.
20. What did one eye say to the other?
Don’t look now, but something between us smells.
21. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
22. What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
Where is pop corn?
23. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
24. What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
25. What did the banana say to the dog?
Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.
26. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she will let it go.
27. What makes the calendar seem so popular?
It has a lot of dates.
28. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
29. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
30. Why did the cookie go to the nurse?
Because it felt crummy.
31. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
32. What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho cheese!
33. What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
34. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
35. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
36. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.
37. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer.
38. Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had so many problems.
39. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.
40. What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.
41. “What do you think of that new diner on the moon?”
“Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.”
42. What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts.
43. How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints.
44. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
45. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken didn’t exist yet.
46. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
47. How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
48. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it.
49. How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
50. What did one toilet say to the other?
You look a bit flushed.
51. Where would you find an elephant?
The same place you lost her.
52. What do cakes and baseball teams have in common?
They both need a good batter.
53. How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
54. What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite.
55. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
56. What’s the one thing you will get every year on your birthday, guaranteed?
A year older.
57. What building in your town has the most stories?
The public library.
58. What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Twister.
59. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield.
60. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a bagel.
61. What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.
62. How does the moon cut its hair?
Eclipse it.
63. What kind of water can’t freeze?
Hot water.
64. Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
65. How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night.
66. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 detour.
67. What did the dalmatian say after lunch?
That hit the spot.
68. What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
69. What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday.
70. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
71. What does every birthday end with?
The letter Y.
72. What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me.
73. What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.
74. How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.
75. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
Because when you find it, you stop looking.
76. Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because her mom and dad were in a jam.
77. What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
“Me-ow.”
78. What do you get when you cross a ball with a cat?
A fur ball.
79. What is a cat’s favorite color?
Purrr-ple.
80. What kind of kitten works for the Red Cross?
A first-aid kitten.
81. Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives.
82. What’s a cat’s favorite reading material?
A cat-alog.
83. What song does a cat like best?
Three Blind Mice.
84. Where did the school kittens go on their field trip?
To the mew-seum.
85. What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?
One is a cat copy, the other is a copy cat.
86. What cat likes living in water?
An octo-puss.
87. What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday?
Hoppy birthday.
88. Why do candles always go on the top of cakes?
Because it’s hard to light them from the bottom.
89. What is a computer’s favorite snack?
Computer chips.
90. Why did the little girl hit her birthday cake with a hammer?
It was a pound cake.
91. Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.
92. Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because he wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
93. Why did the girl put her cake in the freezer?
She wanted to ice it.
94. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated?
Because it’s never right.
95. How do you stay warm in any room?
Go to the corner—it’s always 90 degrees.
96. What do you call guys who love math?
Algebros.
97. Does a green candle burn longer than a pink one?
No, they both get shorter.
98. Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?
Because it had more cents.
99. Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you count Dracula.
100. Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other ssside.
101. What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Nothing, it just waved.
102. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch!
103. Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
104. What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
He got marooned.
105. How do you fit more pigs on a farm?
Build a sty-scraper.
106. What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?
Eight pirates.
107. Why doesn’t anyone talk to circles?
Because there’s no point.
108. How do pirates know that they are pirates?
They think, therefore they arrr.
109. Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little horse.
110. Why don’t elephants chew gum?
They do, just not in public.
111. Why was the pirate’s flag so cheap?
He bought it on sail.
112. Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
113. How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles.
114. What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
An udder failure.
115. Why is pirating so addictive?
They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.
116. How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
About a buck an ear.
117. What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon.
118. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
119. What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?
A milk dud.
120. Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
121. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
“I’m stuck on you!”
122. What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day?
Forget-me-nuts.
123. What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
“I find you very attractive.”
124. What did one light bulb say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“I love you a whole watt!”
125. Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
126. What do you call a very small valentine?
A valen-tiny!
127. What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine’s Day?
“Owl be yours!”
128. What did the pencil say to the paper?
“I dot my i’s on you!”
129. How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself?
With a hare dryer.
130. What do you call a bunny who isn’t smart?
A hare brain.
131. Why did the Easter egg hide?
He was a little chicken.
132. What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes?
A funny bunny.
133. What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
14-carrot gold.
134. How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket?
Only one because after that, it’s not empty.
135. Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
He was having a bad hare day.
136. What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?
They lived hoppily ever after.
137. How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape?
Lots of eggs-ercise.
138. What’s the best way to catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him.
139. What do you call a line of rabbits walking backward?
A receding hareline.
140. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs Bunny.
141. Why can’t a rabbit’s nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
142. How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Just look for the gray hares.
143. What is a rabbit’s favorite dance?
The Bunny Hop.
144. What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.
145. Why didn’t the skeleton go to school?
His heart wasn’t in it.
146. What instrument does a skeleton play?
The trom-bone.
147. How does a vampire start a letter?
“Tomb it may concern …”
148. What do birds say on Halloween?
“Trick or tweet!”
149. What kind of music do mummies love?
Wrap music.
150. What room does a ghost not need?
A living room.
151. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had no body to go with.
152. What do you give a vampire when he’s sick?
Coffin drops.
153. What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
154. What happens when a vampire goes in the snow?
Frostbite.
155. What is a monster’s favorite dessert?
I scream.
156. What do you call a witch who goes to the beach?
A sand-witch.
157. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
158. Why did the zombie skip school?
He was feeling rotten.
159. What position does a ghost play in hockey?
Ghoulie.
160. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
A pumpkin patch.
161. What candy do you eat on the playground?
Recess pieces.
162. What does a witch use to do her hair?
Scarespray.
163. Are black cats bad luck?
Only if you’re a mouse.
164. When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you’re a mouse.
165. What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
166. What’s big, scary, and has three wheels?
A monster on a tricycle.
167. Why don’t vampires have more friends?
Because they are a pain in the neck.
168. What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
169. What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Boo-jeans.
170. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Day-scare centers.
171. How do ghosts wash their hair?
With sham-boo.
172. Why do turkeys always say “gobble, gobble”?
Because they never learned good table manners.
173. What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot.
174. Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.
175. Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
176. What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A har-vest.
177. What do turkeys and teddy bears have in common?
They both have stuffing.
178. What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie?
Your teeth.
179. What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose.
180. Why did Pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.
181. What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
182. Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary.
183. Who isn’t hungry at Thanksgiving?
The turkey—he’s already stuffed.
184. What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The tur-key.
185. Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To show he wasn’t a chicken.
186. Can a turkey jump higher than Mount Everest?
Yes, because a mountain can’t jump.
187. What kind of music did Pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock.
188. Why was the turkey the drummer in the band?
Because he had drumsticks.
189. Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To hatch-et.
190. What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
Foul weather.
191. Why did the Pilgrims sail from England to America?
Because they missed their plane.
192. When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?
On their feet.
193. Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.
194. Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck on the turkey’s foot.
195. What key won’t open any door?
A turkey.
196. What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter g.
197. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their age.
198. Where do you find a turkey with no legs?
Where you left it.
199. What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride?
A Holly Davidson.
200. Why does Santa work at the North Pole?
Because the penguins kicked him out of the South Pole.
201. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
202. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed to be trimmed.
203. What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
204. What kind of photos do elves take?
Elfies.
205. How does a snowman lose weight?
He waits for the weather to get warmer.
206. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
207. Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing?
Because they always drop their needles.
208. What do you call a reindeer with bad manners?
Rude-olph.
209. What is an elf’s favorite kind of music?
Wrap music.
210. How does a sheep say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad.
211. What do road crews use at the North Pole?
Snow cones.
212. What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with a computer?
A pine-apple.
213. What wears a red suit and says “Oh, oh, oh”?
Santa walking backward.
214. Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snow bank.
215. Why did Rudolph get a bad grade on his report card?
Because he went down in history.
216. What falls at the North Pole and never gets hurt?
Snow.
217. In what year does New Year’s Day come before Christmas?
Every year.
218. What do you get when Santa becomes a detective?
Santa clues.
219. Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
220. Why did the robber take a shower?
He wanted to make a clean getaway.
