The only Thanksgiving I’ve ever spent away from home was in 2010. I was a 23-year-old professional actor, recently graduated from theater school and on the road with a show. We were a small company of actors, musicians, and technicians in Winston-Salem, North Carolina—all miles from our respective homes. The company decided our Thanksgiving meal would be potluck. Everyone would bring a dish that would normally grace their family’s table, and instead we would have a meal full of each other’s traditions. I immediately knew what dish I wanted to bring: my grandmother’s stuffing.
As the sweetness from the cornbread hit my tongue, my eyes immediately began to well with tears. It was a taste of home.
As I sat down at our Thanksgiving table that year, I remember staring at my plate. It was, of course, a little different than what I was used to, but I was grateful for this chapter of my life with new friends at my side and a new plate of food in front of me. My grandmother’s stuffing was my first bite, and as the sweetness from the cornbread hit my tongue, my eyes immediately began to well with tears. It was a taste of home.
How to Find Home During the Holidays
I never knew the magic of tradition until I found myself celebrating Thanksgiving in North Carolina. Finding ways to create connections to what matters most to you can make the holidays away from home take on their own special significance. Read on for a few ideas to help you feel the warmth and magic of the holiday season, no matter the distance you are from your loved ones.
1. Cook a family recipe
Food can provide so much more than sustenance, especially over the holiday season, and I experienced it firsthand. Food traditions tie families together, they weave culture onto our plates and create powerful feelings of nostalgia, connectedness, and comfort. My grandmother’s stuffing allowed me to feel close to my family, even though we were miles apart.
Call up a family member and ask for a family recipe, then make it yourself. This experience taught me just how special passing down our family recipes can really be. It’s a feeling I’ll never, ever forget.
2. Have a virtual gathering
The pandemic taught us we can still connect with loved ones via technology, and scheduling video calls is a great way to share space and time, even while apart. Share a meal together, or better yet, prepare a meal with your loved one on FaceTime in your kitchen. I was sick over Thanksgiving last year and wasn’t able to spend time with my family, and while I was incredibly bummed, the video chat I had with them was memorable and heartfelt. I was also still able to indulge in my family’s Thanksgiving meal, which further cements my belief in the magic of family recipes.
3. Create new traditions
As our lives shift and change, so do our traditions. Certain traditions may not be feasible anymore because of distance, a shift in relationships, or new additions to your family. If you find yourself away from home for the holidays, brainstorm how you can create your own holiday magic in a new way. If you’d like to stay connected to loved ones far away, think of some virtual traditions, like watching a holiday movie together at the same time, playing virtual games, or having regular catch-ups over the phone. Or perhaps it’s time to create new traditions. Take some time to really think about what’s important to you over the holiday season, then make time for what matters most to you.
4. Practice gratitude
Reflect on the relationships you hold dear and practice gratitude for them, even if you find yourself apart. Journal about your shared memories, make a gratitude list, then call them up and tell them what you wrote. Truly connecting to these feelings can make you feel close to your loved ones, but sharing them will bring both of you even closer.
5. Wrap and send gifts in the mail
Let your family and friends know you’re still thinking about them by sending gifts in the mail. You can even schedule a virtual gift opening or plan a gift exchange with other family members. A virtual Secret Santa could be tons of fun, with everyone gathering on a video call to open gifts and guess who their Secret Santa is. Technology makes it easier than ever to stay connected virtually, so don’t be afraid to reach out.
6. Volunteer
Connecting with others in person is still important, and spreading kindness and holiday cheer through volunteer work is a wonderful option. A simple Google search can help you find volunteer opportunities in your city, or it may be as simple as checking in with your friends and neighbors. Is there anyone in your neighborhood who may need a helping hand, or would like some company? Giving back will not only lift your spirit, but the spirits of those you help as well.
7. Stay positive
Being away from loved ones during the holiday season can be challenging. It’s bound to stir up difficult emotions. And while it’s important to move through these emotions as they come up, it’s also essential to not dwell on them for too long. Seek out the positives in your life, no matter how small they may be. Focus on the things that bring you joy, like the warmth of a fireplace, staying home, and your favorite pjs. Homing in on gratitude instead of focusing on all that you lack is uplifting and empowering.
8. Indulge in self-care
A night spent in front of the fire with a mug of something warm can be a wonderful way to honor the holiday. While it may not be ideal, taking care of yourself and leaning into your favorite cozy comforts creates a peaceful environment, away from the hustle and bustle. Doing something special at home for yourself that you wouldn’t normally do can also make the holiday memorable. Draw yourself a bubble bath, wrap yourself in the softest blanket you own, and make some time to read that book you’ve been meaning to get to. You deserve it.
